December 11 – 11 Things What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson).
In 20100, I'm actually really going to have to think about this harder from both a mental and materialistic standpoint. We're starting a family. I want to eliminate mental and emotional baggage so that I can be a good example. I would also LOVE to be a stay-at-home mom. I know that my husband would also. We're trying to figure out how to swing that financially, so looking at what we really don't need may become a necessity in itself.
Here are the things I've come up with for myself:
1. Anxiety - I get anxious over just about everything. Even things that I'm excited to do. Anxiety will set in if I'm running a little late. Or if I took a wrong turn driving somewhere. I'm anxious almost every day I come home....'cause who knows what mischief Domino might have gotten into today. I'm always anxious on my way to the ranch, even though once I'm there, it's the most relaxing place in the whole world, besides maybe, the gym. Anxiety is a worthless waste of energy and a form of stress and stress is never good. I probably won't be able to eliminate anxiety, but I'm trying to lessen it by reminding myself that the things I'm worrying about are really not worth it.
2. Left Over Wedding Things - Our wedding was almost two years ago, but we still have leftover favors, candles, napkins, gift bags, invitations, lights, and mason jars, just to name some. These leftovers are hard to part with because I think "oh, we can USE that for SOMETHING", but in two years, we haven't, and we're probably not going to, so I just need to chuck it.
3. Excuses - For why I'm not going to go for a jog this morning. And why I don't have time to work on starting a small business for invitations and announcements. And for why I'm not taking classes to learn Adobe Illustrator, and jewelry making, and some other things I've always been interested in. These are things I enjoy. Isn't it strange to find reasons not to do them??? Why do I do that? I've found that getting started is the hardest part. If I can get a routine going, then I don't make those lame excuses for myself.
4. Socks (and other worn out things) - I already went through a whole bunch and got rid of the solo socks that lost their partner somewhere in the abyss. I need to learn to toss the ones that don't stay up because the stretch in gone, and the ones that my big toe sticks out of because my razor blade toenails cut through them after a couple months. This might seem trivial, but it's actually part of my ADMITTED hoarding tendencies, which I constantly try to quell. Even though I think it's wasteful to buy and toss, I'm not going to fix the holes in my socks like people did back in the day so they need to go.
5. Self Doubt - I've already mentioned this in earlier posts. I sabotage myself with "I'm not as good" statements. I always need someone else to reassure me. I want to rely more on myself and be confident in myself and my abilities. I know I can, because I have before. I'm not sure where I lost my self-esteem, but I'm working on getting it back.
6. My Temper - I have a BAD one. I'm pretty mellow, most of the time. Until I get pushed over the edge, and then, boy, will you pay for giving me that final shove. Surprisingly, my blood pressure is actually on the low side. Maybe that's because I do have blowouts, instead of holding it all inside forever. I'd like to find a better way to let loose my frustration without boiling over, because sometimes, the biggest victims of my frustration are not the ones who caused it.
7. Resentment - Of people who are continuously given chance after chance and still manage to be poor examples of human beings. These people bug the bahjeezes out of me. There's nothing you can do about these people though. And it seems impossible to get others to stop enabling them. In the end, I don't envy them and I don't want to waste my time on them. If I give up resenting them, I can spend that time on people that deserve it.
8. My Grandparents Things - Losing the people that you love is obviously not the most fun part of life. It makes sense that we try to hold on to them by holding onto the worldly possessions they left behind. My grandparents were very inspirational to me. My grandmother was an independent, successful, adventurous woman and my grandfather was a physicist, who sparked and nurtured my interest in the scientific world. I inherited a lot of old (and what I find to be really cool) scientific toys, as well as some things that are probably just old. The fact is, these things take up (coveted) space and I've never found a good use for any of it, but I feel like letting go of it would somehow be letting my grandparents down. I wish I could get rid of these things in a way that I would feel good about, but I haven't found that yet.
9. My Job - I gotta make some money somehow. Eliminating my job is probably not an option. I do want to find a more fulfilling job. If I have to spend 8 hrs a day doing something, I'd like to feel like it's time well spent.
10. Mani/Pedis, Hair Color, a Tan, and the Latest Fashions - It's not at all that I'm currently obsessed with these things. In fact, many would probably say spend enough time and money on me. Although I'm a big advocate of taking time for yourself and taking care of yourself, I'm just going to have remind myself to to keep myself up without shelling out the dough. I can paint my nails at home. I can love my natural brown hair color. I can work with the clothes that I have. And, if I'm pasty, well, O-Well.
11. Dinners Out - Rogér and I have become used to "grabbing dinner somewhere" out of convenience and ability. While this is a nice escape from life chores and it's often time well spent together, I'd like to get us on a healthier (and less expensive) track of home-cooked meals. I think we'll both feel better physically if we're eating fresh foods prepared with less "junk".
-Sarah
Our first baby, Rowan Matthijs Balyon, was born on December 22, 2010. He's the most precious thing! 
